Tag Archives: Jeannette Johnian

REPOST FROM “WISDOM DEFINED” by JEANNETTE JOHNIAN: The Mask, My Enemy & Grief My Idol

As a Pastors wife I found myself trying to be who I thought everyone wanted me to be. The more I tried the more epic the fail was. Consequently, I fell into a depression that without God’s divine intervention I would have landed in a mental institution. The criticism, isolation, superficial relationships got so overwhelming I found myself sick in body, soul and spirit. Some where along the journey I had placed a mask on, in an attempt to hide the pain. Unbeknownst to me, this MASK which was intended to protect me became my worse enemy. Grief became my idol and I ceased to allow the Presence of God to direct every aspect of my life. Suddenly, I found myself having mental conversations that sounded like this:

  • Why should I pray for those people? They don’t care about me or my family?
  • Why should I pray for those people? They don’t care about me or my family?
  • Why doesn’t anyone ever ask me, How are you?
  • Why doesn’t so and so, pick up the phone and call me?
  • I deserve to have (fill in the blank)
  • Why can’t I just say what I want like everyone else?
  • I am done, why should I sacrifice my time and energy for people who don’t care.

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The MASK led me to bondage! Then without warning a woman I had never seen, nor heard started to surface. The woman whose greatest joy was praying for souls, cooking meals, supporting her husband, loving her church, was gone. Unexpectedly, like Ebenezer Scrooge I was visited by the “ghost of Christmas past” standing in front of the mirror I looked at myself and said, “Lord, who is that?” I was lost, confused, tired and broken. Dreadfully afraid and absolutely desperate I uttered the dangerous prayer, “Lord, you alone can un-Mask  the ME in me.”

By God’s grace I started to undergo a divine radical cosmetic  surgery. I began to experience Jesus from a holistic perspective. Every area of my life began to be invaded with the Holy Spirit’s resurrecting power.  It is what the Bible calls dying to the old self; with Him, through Him and for Him.  One thing is certain this is a lifetime journey. Jesus desires for us to be healed, He knows we all have broken relationships and are broken within ourselves. The key to this healing is being filled with the Holy Spirit and seeking to dwell in His Presence.

We God’s creatures have an overwhelming need to be unmasked, the real (ME) is deeply buried in layers of self that can only be resurrected by the hand of the Almighty. I found freedom in the realization that my identity is in God alone and no longer seeking it in a role (pastor wife, professional career,etc). Un-Masked by the Jesus, I find myself willing to chose joy, mercy, peace and above all love for God and love for others.

JEANNETTE

READY? SET? ACTION!

ahc_79194When Jeannette and I were first married I quickly discovered how different we really were. Through three years of dating, and an engagement period, I thought we were just alike in everything; but then after we said I do I realized we weren’t. That’s not to say our differences were bad or in some way we had deceived one another; it just reminds us that there are many ways, in our similarities, we can still be very different. It didn’t take long for me to discover our differences when after our first disagreement (fight) I wanted to patch things up and move on with a quick resolution. Jeannette, on the other hand, needed some time and breathing room to process our disagreement as well as our resolution. For over sixteen years we have managed to deal with conflict, disappointment, failures and hurts in much the same way as our first argument. And over this period of time I have come to appreciate the value of allowing the process of letting a situation breathe so as long as we are allowing the truth of God to act during that time.

As a pastor I have managed to tackle problems, within the church, from a variety of approaches. In some instances I have pressed, head strong, for a quick resolution with disastrous results; and at other times I have waited, too long, to allow people to process a conflict, which has also ended in unsuccessful outcomes. So after reading a variety of leadership books, conflict management articles and advise from my peers I still felt as if there was no “best” way to deal with any single situation better than what the Bible tells us.

St. James writes the early church and encourages them, “So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.” (James 4:7-10 MSG)

“It is essential to give people a chance of acting on the truth of God.” (Chambers) After the pastor, husband, wife, boss or friend has had their say, in any situation or conflict, the responsibility must be left with the individual. You cannot, and are incapable, of acting for him or her and they must be deliberate in responding in a Christlike manner to any situation. Sadly, when we refuse to act, as Jesus would prompt us through His Word, we become paralyzed and end up exactly as we were before. Have you ever met people who live their life stuck? There are some who refuse to grow up, others who dodge responsibility and others still who assign blame, to others, for their misfortune. If you know this type of person or find yourself here today then return to what James tells us and CHANGE IT!  When one acts, he or she is never the same. And when we act upon God’s Word He begins to work His perfect will in our life immediately!

Too many people play games, with their own lives, by wasting precious time living in stalled action. Once you find yourself repeating a failed behavior, negative thinking or destructive speech immediately let go and allow God to get into your circumstance. The moments we will truly live are the moments when we act with our whole will submitted to His plans and purposes.
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FINAL THOUGHT: IT TAKES TIME, SO ALLOW FOR SOME BREATHING ROOM. While most of today’s post has advocated a quick Biblical response to life’s challenges I would be remiss if I didn’t bring some balance to the topic. Like Jeannette’s needing time to process our disagreement most people do require some breathing room. I personally believe all people would benefit from some time to “work it out.” However, this time needs to be well spent seeking Jesus and allowing His truth to walk us toward His resolution. “Never allow a truth of God that is brought home to your soul to pass without acting on it, not necessarily physically, but in will.” (Chambers)

In every part, or role in life, we play we will always be faced with the truth of God. When we confess we are wrong, but go back again; then we come up to it again, and go back; we are hopefully learning the valuable life lesson that tells us we have no business returning to an old failed way of living and thinking. God’s truth is not a negative reality that is meant to hurt or rob you rather His truths are the finest words of redemption in which Jesus transacts the business of drawing us back to Him. The final step we need to take is to go to Him; and everyone who responds to His invitation lives a life where the supernatural power of God invades and changes them instantly. If you truly want to be free from the burdensome power of the world, your weak flesh and your adversary, understand they are not paralyzed by your words or your actions of self! But the stumbling blocks and barriers will always be halted by your action, and will, that is linked to Jesus and His redemptive power!

Grace and Peace

JOSHUA

REPOST from WISDOM DEFINED (Jeannette Johnian’s Blog) FROM THE TABLE TO HIS TABLE

One of my greatest pleasures in life is cooking a meal in my little kitchen and seeing my family and friends enjoy. I remember as a little girl spending time in my grandmother’s kitchen learning to make rice and beans. Of course there was no food network back then and my Abuelita (grandmother) didn’t measure a thing. She would say “you put a little of this and a little of that and a whole lot of love into it.” It was there at her table I learned what it meant to be hospitable and generous. We would eat to sound of beautiful ballads playing in the background as she told me the stories of yesteryear.

Not only was my grandmother’s kitchen a place of love so was my mother’s. I am convinced that on the great day of the Lord my  mother will fully come to understand how many lives were touched by her love meals. Many times I asked myself why did she make so much food, there were only four of us in the house. Looking back she would make enough for anyone who would “happen to stop by.” It was and still is her language of love.

Much of my life formation was done around a table. When I started dating my husband I was invited to their home for lunch after church. It was there, a very different type of meal was offered. Yes, there was food but I learned much about the scriptures, the move of the Spirit of God, to love and serve God with all my being. Their table though designed to satisfy natural hunger truly satisfied my spiritual need.

What do these two tables have in common? Fast forward twenty years,  I looked in my kitchen as I was preparing our Thanksgiving meal and felt lead to set a different table for my guests. I decided we would first  partake of the table of the LORD. There we gathered in family to experience the sacred communal reality of communion.
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Just as my grandmother,mother and mother in-law demonstrated there hospitality at the table, so we came to the table of the Lord to bear witness as one family, of the radical hospitality of Jesus. During this act of worship, our attention was focused on HIM who was present in our midst as we gave Him thanks. As we partook I realized we were renacting an ancient play that will be seen once again in the marriage supper of the Lamb.

As we celebrate the Christmas season there will be many beautiful tables set but none more loving and life changing then the table of the LORD.

Peace,
Jeannette

REPOST from WISDOM DEFINED (Jeannette Johnian’s Blog) “WHEN THE KINGDOM INVADES MY STINKING THINKING

jeannetteWHEN THE KINGDOM INVADES MY STINKING THINKING

There is a running joke in my family that I have a crush on theologian NT Wright. Anytime we are in a conversation and a certain truth is mentioned I interject and say “NT Wright says”…It causes quite a stir, eyes start rolling and the laughing begins. All joking aside I don’t have a crush on NT Wright but it wasn’t until I heard NT lecture on the book of Romans that my understanding of the message of the Kingdom of God started to invade my stinking thinking.

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Let me explain, as he expounded on the scriptures, I had read over and over again, it was like dots being connected and suddenly I started to see the totality of the message of the Kingdom of God.  My spirit leaped within me and when I heard statements like  “the new age had broken into the midst of this present age” and “we are called to be truly human after the model of the Messiah”,it was as if I was born again, again.The Kingdom message has radically reordered how I see myself, unbelievers, the body of Christ and specifically all that God has done in and through Jesus Christ. I have laughed, cried and mourned as my life is being challenged with the most extraordinary message in the world.I recently had a conversation with a friend on the topics of forgiveness, restoration, God’s judgement and justices. As I sat and listened statements like these were said:

  • I will forgive but won’t forget.
  • I believe in reconciliation but not necessarily the need for restoration.
  • I am not the judge and God will judge those who have hurt me.

I found myself agreeing with each of these statements. After all, I had said and heard them throughout the years.
Hours after the conversation Kingdom thoughts started to invade my “stinking thinking”.  “What if God’s judgement is executed by an outpouring of love? Jeannette, will you be happy? What if justice comes in the way of blessing? What if Kingdom reconciliation is only seen in restoration? What if true forgiveness means covering over an offense as if it has never happened?

Suddenly, I remembered the story of Jonah he went to preach reconciliation to Nineveh, they repented and God restored them. Then the Bible says, it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he became angry. What? The man of God brings the word of reconciliation and it angers him to see God’s justice. God, challenged Jonah’s stinking thinking. You can read it here;http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jonah+4%3A1-11&version=NIV

You may be saying this is Bible 101. Perhaps it is but honestly ask yourself have you wrestled with these kinds of questions? If God is creator and judge of all and we are His people, are we not to reflect his true character. Is HE not calling us to live in the  present as it will be when the Kingdom is fully restored? I believe He is and as we allow the Kingdom to burst into our lives, families and communities of faith we are proclaiming the story of our God.

Peace,
Jeannette

REPOST from Jeannette Johnian’s Blog “Continue to Climb”: IN THE MIDST OF “DELUSIONAL” MEN

IN THE MIDST OF “DELUSIONAL” MEN

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Years ago there was a young man in our fellowship that decided he was going to venture out and start his own business. Throughout his being a part of our community my husband had encouraged and supported this man in his endeavors. In spite of the fact that others considered him socially awkward my husband saw a man in need of affirmation and fellowship. One day this man came to our home offering his professional services and after some consideration we had to decline. The moment my husband let him know we were not interested his demeanor changed. Obviously offended he decided he was going to tell my husband what he really thought of our community and his pastor. Sitting in our living room he looked straight at my husband and said, “When are you going to realize you are delusional?”  He went on to question the call of God, in my husbands life, and “exhorted” him to give up.

Why did this man think my husband was delusional? Was it because our community was not in the hundreds or thousands? Could it be my husband did not fit a certain mold for today’s pastor or leader? Was it that my husband never managed a successful business or served as an executive in a fortune 500 company? It was obvious his words, spoken from hurt and rejection, were meant to humiliate.

Since the month of October is pastor appreciation month I thought I would give a big shout out to all the men and women who have been told they are “delusional” for following the call of God.

Just this past week I was in Kalamazoo attending a conference with pastors from around the country. During one of the breakout sessions I heard the stories of men and women who have given their lives to serve God and others. As these servant-leaders shared their stories, with authenticity and transparency, tears starting streaming down my face. But, why was I crying? In each story there was a common denominator that spoke to a deep place within my spirit. What touched me were the hearts of shepherds who are willing to give anything and everything to answer the call of God.

Story after story I heard the familiar burden of true shepherds. These are the unknown soldiers, serving in the trenches, who cannot abandon the call to serve. Many of these men ,according to western church thinking, fall into the category of delusional, unsuccessful, ill-equipped and failures. But I would suggest the following:

  • These are the men who have prayed and pleaded, before God’s throne, for our families. Would any person selflessly do this?
  • These are the men who study God’s Word so, above all else, our souls prosper. Is that not worth more than gold?
  • These are the men, with the eyes of a shepherd, who see us wandering before we realize we have strayed. Are not their words of counsel and wisdom worth paying attention too?
  • These are the men who in spite of adversity, disappointment and hardship endure to the end. Shouldn’t we encourage and support them along the way?
  • These are the men who give of their own limited funds to help you pay your bills when your in need. Did you know that?
  • These are the men that rejoice with you when your child is born, you get a job promotion and your children marry. Ask yourself, when was the last time you rejoiced for your pastor?
  • These are the men who will admit they are far from perfect and, at times, will make imperfect decisions. Are they not worthy of our mercy and patience?
  • These are the men that, when the phone rings at 5:30 am, are willing to get out of bed and meet with you as well as minister to your need.Would we do the same?
  • These are the men that, when they are on vacation, will always answer your distressing phone call and never let it go to voice mail. Are we on call 24-7?
  • These are the men that sacrifice their lives, and family needs, for a salary that rarely covers their living expenses. Would we do the same?

After I complied my short, but by no means exhaustive, list I would like to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for having the same courage as Noah, to build an ark without one convert or sign of rain. To have the faithfulness of Abraham, the humility of David, the boldness of Elijah, the tears of Jeremiah, the courage of Daniel, the vision of Nehemiah and Ezra, the thankfulness of the Apostles, the strength of Paul and the persistence of John.

Thessalonians 5: 12 – 13 says: “And now, friends, we ask you to honor those leaders, who work so hard for you, who have been given the responsibility of urging and guiding you along in your obedience. Overwhelm them with appreciation and love.

Grace and Peace

Jeannette