When Jeannette and I were first married I quickly discovered how different we really were. Through three years of dating, and an engagement period, I thought we were just alike in everything; but then after we said I do I realized we weren’t. That’s not to say our differences were bad or in some way we had deceived one another; it just reminds us that there are many ways, in our similarities, we can still be very different. It didn’t take long for me to discover our differences when after our first disagreement (fight) I wanted to patch things up and move on with a quick resolution. Jeannette, on the other hand, needed some time and breathing room to process our disagreement as well as our resolution. For over sixteen years we have managed to deal with conflict, disappointment, failures and hurts in much the same way as our first argument. And over this period of time I have come to appreciate the value of allowing the process of letting a situation breathe so as long as we are allowing the truth of God to act during that time.
As a pastor I have managed to tackle problems, within the church, from a variety of approaches. In some instances I have pressed, head strong, for a quick resolution with disastrous results; and at other times I have waited, too long, to allow people to process a conflict, which has also ended in unsuccessful outcomes. So after reading a variety of leadership books, conflict management articles and advise from my peers I still felt as if there was no “best” way to deal with any single situation better than what the Bible tells us.
St. James writes the early church and encourages them, “So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.” (James 4:7-10 MSG)
“It is essential to give people a chance of acting on the truth of God.” (Chambers) After the pastor, husband, wife, boss or friend has had their say, in any situation or conflict, the responsibility must be left with the individual. You cannot, and are incapable, of acting for him or her and they must be deliberate in responding in a Christlike manner to any situation. Sadly, when we refuse to act, as Jesus would prompt us through His Word, we become paralyzed and end up exactly as we were before. Have you ever met people who live their life stuck? There are some who refuse to grow up, others who dodge responsibility and others still who assign blame, to others, for their misfortune. If you know this type of person or find yourself here today then return to what James tells us and CHANGE IT! When one acts, he or she is never the same. And when we act upon God’s Word He begins to work His perfect will in our life immediately!
Too many people play games, with their own lives, by wasting precious time living in stalled action. Once you find yourself repeating a failed behavior, negative thinking or destructive speech immediately let go and allow God to get into your circumstance. The moments we will truly live are the moments when we act with our whole will submitted to His plans and purposes.
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FINAL THOUGHT: IT TAKES TIME, SO ALLOW FOR SOME BREATHING ROOM. While most of today’s post has advocated a quick Biblical response to life’s challenges I would be remiss if I didn’t bring some balance to the topic. Like Jeannette’s needing time to process our disagreement most people do require some breathing room. I personally believe all people would benefit from some time to “work it out.” However, this time needs to be well spent seeking Jesus and allowing His truth to walk us toward His resolution. “Never allow a truth of God that is brought home to your soul to pass without acting on it, not necessarily physically, but in will.” (Chambers)
In every part, or role in life, we play we will always be faced with the truth of God. When we confess we are wrong, but go back again; then we come up to it again, and go back; we are hopefully learning the valuable life lesson that tells us we have no business returning to an old failed way of living and thinking. God’s truth is not a negative reality that is meant to hurt or rob you rather His truths are the finest words of redemption in which Jesus transacts the business of drawing us back to Him. The final step we need to take is to go to Him; and everyone who responds to His invitation lives a life where the supernatural power of God invades and changes them instantly. If you truly want to be free from the burdensome power of the world, your weak flesh and your adversary, understand they are not paralyzed by your words or your actions of self! But the stumbling blocks and barriers will always be halted by your action, and will, that is linked to Jesus and His redemptive power!
Grace and Peace
JOSHUA