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REPOST FROM “WISDOM DEFINED” by JEANNETTE JOHNIAN: The Mask, My Enemy & Grief My Idol

As a Pastors wife I found myself trying to be who I thought everyone wanted me to be. The more I tried the more epic the fail was. Consequently, I fell into a depression that without God’s divine intervention I would have landed in a mental institution. The criticism, isolation, superficial relationships got so overwhelming I found myself sick in body, soul and spirit. Some where along the journey I had placed a mask on, in an attempt to hide the pain. Unbeknownst to me, this MASK which was intended to protect me became my worse enemy. Grief became my idol and I ceased to allow the Presence of God to direct every aspect of my life. Suddenly, I found myself having mental conversations that sounded like this:

  • Why should I pray for those people? They don’t care about me or my family?
  • Why should I pray for those people? They don’t care about me or my family?
  • Why doesn’t anyone ever ask me, How are you?
  • Why doesn’t so and so, pick up the phone and call me?
  • I deserve to have (fill in the blank)
  • Why can’t I just say what I want like everyone else?
  • I am done, why should I sacrifice my time and energy for people who don’t care.

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The MASK led me to bondage! Then without warning a woman I had never seen, nor heard started to surface. The woman whose greatest joy was praying for souls, cooking meals, supporting her husband, loving her church, was gone. Unexpectedly, like Ebenezer Scrooge I was visited by the “ghost of Christmas past” standing in front of the mirror I looked at myself and said, “Lord, who is that?” I was lost, confused, tired and broken. Dreadfully afraid and absolutely desperate I uttered the dangerous prayer, “Lord, you alone can un-Mask  the ME in me.”

By God’s grace I started to undergo a divine radical cosmetic  surgery. I began to experience Jesus from a holistic perspective. Every area of my life began to be invaded with the Holy Spirit’s resurrecting power.  It is what the Bible calls dying to the old self; with Him, through Him and for Him.  One thing is certain this is a lifetime journey. Jesus desires for us to be healed, He knows we all have broken relationships and are broken within ourselves. The key to this healing is being filled with the Holy Spirit and seeking to dwell in His Presence.

We God’s creatures have an overwhelming need to be unmasked, the real (ME) is deeply buried in layers of self that can only be resurrected by the hand of the Almighty. I found freedom in the realization that my identity is in God alone and no longer seeking it in a role (pastor wife, professional career,etc). Un-Masked by the Jesus, I find myself willing to chose joy, mercy, peace and above all love for God and love for others.

JEANNETTE

THERE ARE “IN HIM” PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!

0000iconJesus-christTHERE ARE “IN HIM” PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!

“And now, saith the Lord, that formed me from the womb to be His servant.” (Isaiah 49:5)

What do you like to do during your downtime? Watch TV? Invest in a hobby? Read a book? There is not a single person, I know, that doesn’t appreciate a little relaxing time. For my wife, her idea of relaxing is sitting on the beach and reading a book; while in my downtime I like to follow my favorite sports team (New England Patriots), play a game or also read a book. In the almost twenty years of marriage Jeannette and I have built a rather large library ranging from the Shakespeare and Homer to Andrew Murray and NT Wright and while our reading list is wide-ranging we often find ourselves returning to a few favorites. By far my preferred author is CS Lewis and The Problem of Pain, Mere Christianity, Till We Have Faces and many other titles have challenged the way I understand the world and the people I am surrounded by.

There are those, within the Christian community of thought, that either love CS Lewis or express deep concern for what they believe is an apologetic for un-orthodox positions of Christian doctrine.  I once had a conversation with another Christian who refused to read any of Lewis’ works because she assumed he advocated universalism. When I attempted to explain Lewis’ unmistakable words, on matters of salvation, she continued to believe he and his writings were heresy and therefore there was no dislodging her presuppositions on Lewis that day. The reason I injected the polarizing person of Lewis, it today’s post, is because there are also others, within Christian thought, that reject any other person as “saved” if they are Roman Catholic, Anglican or Orthodox.

This frightening fracturing, of the Christian faith, is partly to blame for what some perceive as an incoherent Gospel message. And if you believe these divisions are only reserved for the historical orthodox community you may be shocked to discover Protestant denominations are equally quick to turn on Pentecostals, or other non-denominational communities, because they do not adhere to a specific set of affirmations and or creeds. The purpose of today’s post is not to “peel back every layer of the onion” because I recognize this debate has been ongoing for centuries. Rather I want to bring us back to a reality we have all experienced and live with: “The first thing that happens after we have realized our election to God, in Christ Jesus, is the destruction of our prejudices and our narrow-minded notions; we are turned into servants of God’s own purpose.” (Chambers) The reason the Father created humanity was to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. The curse of sin has switched the human race on to another tack, but sin has never altered God’s purposes. When we are “born again” we are to become “In Him” people and brought into the realization of God’s great purpose for the human race: You are created for God! He made you and positioned you, where you are at, to testify of Him. This realization of appointment, for most, is the most joyful fulfillment on earth once we appreciate our remarkable role in His restorative purposes.

I have come to understand, and appreciate, God is working on the hearts of all who truly love and desire Him. In His loving guidance He deals with our spiritual nature to channel our hearts to beat after the single heart of Him and not to the rhythms of the world. The love of God and the nature of Almighty (Pantokrator) God is focused, and introduced into us, in John 3:16—“God so loved the world …”

While I personally may have differing doctrinal views, from others, I am able to identify God has masterfully placed “In Him” people where I may never travel. We have to maintain our soul open to the fact of God’s restorative purpose, and not muddle it with our own intentions. The purpose for which the missionary is created is that he may be God’s servant, one in whom God is glorified. When we realize that, through the salvation of Jesus, we are made perfectly fit for God we will finally understand why the Father has sown seed in many fields.  He demands absolute integrity from His servants, because He has put into them the very nature of God; and so let us all be cautious, in criticizing others in this great community, lest we forget God’s purpose for redemption, reconciliation and restoration.

This is not a call for ecumenism, as some have come to define it, universalism or Unitarian theology. But this is a call to unite all “In Him” people and celebrate our diversity, while maintaining our orthodox fundamentals uncompromised, to carry forth the essential teaching of the everlasting Gospel to the nations.  CS Lewis wrote, “There are three things that spread the Christ life to us; baptism, belief, and that mysterious action which different Christians call by different names – Holy Communion, the Mass, the Lord’s Supper.”[1]   If Lewis is correct, which I believe his statement is also Biblically supportable, then there are IN HIM people sown throughout the world and across many historical and rich traditions of the Christian faith. Let us rejoice together and magnify the name of Father, Son and Spirit as we testify His message of redemption, reconciliation and restoration!

 Grace and Peace

JOSHUA

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[1] CS Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: Harper Collins, 2003)62.