Relationships can be difficult and the process of developing lasting bonds are often challenging, messy, inconvenient and, at times, hurtful. And yet despite the apparent negatives, and fraught with danger, we desire relationships that are real, trustworthy, loving and safe. By our very design we were created social; and loneliness has never been a welcomed companion for life’s journey. When we look to the heavens we reach out for a lasting relationship, with the Divine, which gives us hope in the hopeless seasons and love in the loveless. In my personal pursuit of relationship I have discovered, in several seasons of life, I was spiritually and naturally immature to develop such relationships; and even the bonds that I imagined were once unbreakable snapped under the pressures of circumstance, hurt and unforgiveness.
Three years ago I found myself moving in an upward trajectory of ministry aspirations and personal fulfillment. The church I was pastoring began a new season of growth and the “buzz factor” was building with each successive achievement. There was a new building, new people, growing departments, stable budgets, etc… Then, like with Job in the Bible, (and by no means would I compare my circumstances with Job) things fell apart. The growth suddenly stopped, fires sprung up, harvest fields were torched, robbed and pillaged and before I could even take a breath everything, including my family, was in a two-year death spiral.
I felt helpless, ill-equipped and hurt by the sudden reversal of fortunes. While I still continued to pastor, and the church managed to stabilize, I walked through the battlefield alive but severely wounded. What made my wounds all the more dangerous was my inability to really see how wounded I was. Outwardly I pressed “onward Christian soldier” while inwardly I withdrew from people, care, compassion and relationship. While I knew I should draw closer to the Holy Spirit, during such times, like Dante (from the Inferno) I found myself lost in a dark wood with only one faithful companion: depression. Needless to say it was a long two years, made even longer by the hurt, but over time I managed to crawl back towards relationship, community, trust and love; and all of this came through a road called forgiveness and reconciliation.
As Christians we readily accept the revelation that God can forgive anything; but He will never forgive that which contradicts His nature. Perhaps here, in the nature of God, we discover the true road to relationship, love and the everlasting bonds of friendship will only be experienced in forgiveness and reconciliation. If the template is Jesus, the Logos as well as the Word made flesh, (which I believe it has always been) then we cannot escape the reality that just as He forgives and reconciles us to the Father we too are to forgive and be reconciled one to another.
The Biblical pattern of relationship, and the Christ-like nature, is lived in the miracle of forgiveness and the experience of sanctification (or being made right again). In God’s relationship, with us, sanctification is simply the marvelous expression of the forgiveness of sins in the human life. When we are able to live the vertical relationship, we have with Him, correctly He will invade our horizontal relationships with others. This synergistic relationship best represents the Biblical holism we are purposed to experience.
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Once the image of the Father is alive in us we are readily available to repair the broken roads of relationship without fear, apprehension or dread. My road back toward forgiveness and reconciliation was not experienced behind the closed doors of an office or through a one-man crusade championing my cause. Rather in the two years of inward struggle the Holy Spirit contended with me and guided me back into the lives of others. It was in community healing occurred and true bonds of friendship were experienced, lived and cultivated. Despite the dangers and messiness, in us all and in relationship, we all destined to connect with the Spirit of God; and when we are one with the Father He will draw us into relationships that will require, of us, the continual need for forgiveness and restoration. This is In Him living, thinking and maturing; and this is the kind of living that shows the love of God.
There are still more than a few relationships I desire to see “patched up.” While it may appear that some roads are beyond repair know that “forgiveness is the divine miracle of grace…” (Chambers) And so I want to encourage you as I continue to encourage myself; pursue forgiveness and reconciliation. If you do you will discover lasting friendships, relationships and a Biblical community that is designed to enhance your life and support you on your journey with Jesus!
GRACE and PEACE
JOSHUA