“TRUE FRIENDSHIPS ARE HARD TO FIND”

“I have called you friends.” (John 15:15)

Much of what is defined as friendship, today, is the farthest hope we desire to have, with people, from a Biblical world-view. Just yesterday I was getting a haircut and the stylist and I entered into a conversation on the topic of friendship. As an owner-operator not only does his clientele expect a certain level of service and attention likewise his employees are looking, to him, for leadership as well as friendship. While he does set aside time to “team build” he told me he is very careful in his selection of friends to the point where he has to make a distinction between his employees and close social friends.

Truthfully, I have very few friends and I am okay with that because I too have learned the bonds of friendship extend far beyond a visit to the coffee shop or an occasional movie and sporting event. This is not to say I am a hermit or I purposely avoid relationships with others. But what I am saying is I reject what the world, and at times, the church has forced people to accept as a working definition of what friendship is and is not.

Let me give you a personal example: A while back a Christian friend offered me a gift. At first this very generous gift sounded like a blessing but then he followed up his generous invitation with conditions. Can you see what is wrong with this scenario? You have heard similar stories of never letting family borrow money or never tell somebody,  “Pay me back whenever you can” unless you are prepared to end up on an episode of Judge Judy. Gifts are to be gifts, without conditions, and Biblical friendships are to be self-sacrificing not self-serving. If you receive a gift, given with conditions, it is not a gift. Likewise, if you are in a “friendship” that does not possess self-surrender then it will seldom endure.

It is learnt that cialis buy online people rush to do sex just after taking the drug for ED. Even young men love this medicine as it absorb faster in the bloodstream producing better results. cialis bulk The online shops assist in maintaining complete security while getting viagra pfizer 25mg http://www.devensec.com/sustain/eidis-updates/IndustrialSymbiosisUpdateAug_Oct2010.pdf the order and delivering the medicines at the patient’s doorstep. Men are supposed to be well aware that this remedy must not be over-followed or should not be taken without consulting together with General Physician or Urologist. no prescription viagra Earlier this month I titled a blog, You Don’t Get It and You Don’t Have to. But you Have to Respect it! and it’s about a person living and following the call of Jesus on his or her life. That blog, as well as today’s, started me to thinking about how many friends Jesus may have had. How many friends do you think Jesus had? How many people approached Jesus with words like, ‘I will if …’ or ‘Oh well, I suppose I must devote my life to God.’ It sounds like Jesus attracted many “friendships” that lacked the Biblical heart of self-sacrifice.

Have you ever asked, “Why do I have so few friends?” Or have you ever looked over your friend pool and really questioned how many are close and dear? Usually when we are lacking in true friendships we self-examine by saying, “Well, I guess I’m difficult to like?” But more than the “likeability factor” I have come to understand so few people are prepared to abandon themselves to the Holy Spirit, who is able to lead us into right friendships with others based on the joy and truth of Jesus. Honestly, I’m not nearly where I need to be and daily I am reminded how much “ugly me” still exists. But within the context of friendships, led by the Holy Spirit, I now see even my conversations scare people from wanting to be my friend. Certainly going to a movie can be fun or watching a sports event can serve as a relaxing break but the final aim of Biblical friendship is self-sacrifice and laying down our lives for our best friend, Jesus. Few friendships are prepared for that kind of intimacy and honesty.

Jesus stands as our best model of true friendship by setting the example of a life lived in self-sacrifice—“I delight to do Thy will, O My God.” Jesus knew how to go on, with or without, friends because His sacrifice, to the Father, brought exuberant joy. And so I ask myself, and you, have we ever yielded in absolute submission to Jesus? “If Jesus is not the lodestar, there is no benefit in the sacrifice; but when the sacrifice is made with the eyes on Him, slowly and surely the molding influence begins to tell.” (Chambers)

Beware of letting natural affinities delay your walk in Him. Or said another way, be careful of letting “friends” drain you intimate time with the Holy Spirit. Friends are exciting and can even serve as an impressive tally on your Facebook account but how many of these “friends” are built on natural affinities? Love for the Father is not sentimental; to love as God loves is the most practical thing for the believer. When Jesus said,  “I have called you friends.” It is a friendship based on the new life created in us, which has no affinity with our old life, but only with the life of God. This is why I reject what the world and even he church may call friendship and only desire to walk with those who are living a life in the pursuit of humility, holiness and absolute devotion to the Biblical Jesus!

Blessings – JOSHUA